WHATEVER IT TAKES

CANCER doesn’t just eat away at your insides, it also can destroy relationships.

The anger that builds can most definitely harm others. I got a triple dose of illness. Enough to last a lifetime and beyond.

First it was an autoimmune disease (’94), then stomach removal (’98) and last fall (’16) leukemia.

Sometimes I feel like I’m losing the battle and lash out at those closest to me. It’s not fair for me, but it isn’t for them either.

This is for Rudy:

 

 

MIA

DSC_0360(3)

This is just one example of the views from my apartment in southern Utah. Red rocks, plateau’s and snowy mountain tops, all in one pic. Fluffy white clouds and blue lit skies. I miss it….

I have lived in Chicago, Paris and Colorado, but nothing was as breathtaking as Utah. Lots of undeveloped land, temporate weather and only two hours from Vegas. Almost perfect.

The “Mormon’s” were a pain in the ass, but could be overlooked due to the landscape and the endless opportunities for every and all outdoor recreational activities!

The doctor’s were not the greatest, but that could be overlooked also. I am back with my original doctors in the midwest, but one should never base where they live on friggin’ doctors! Life is way too short for that nonsense….

My parents would love for me to stay with my original docs, but screw that. I see them (docs) once again in the fall and then it’ll be time to hit the road once again. The grass can grow around my headstone when I’m dead, but I’ll be damned if I let the grass grow around my feet while I’m still alive and kickin’!

Believe when I say, ‘when you have your health, you have everything,’ and even though health and time are not on my side, I cannot stand still. I also believe that God puts people you need in your path. I would be dead if it weren’t for my Rudy. He saved me more than once in the past, and continues to, even though I’ve put him through hell?!

Here’s to living life by your own rules and not other’s…keep your head up and keep treading that water for as long as you have to. It’ll be worth it!

2014 - 1

 

PETER

Being ill is no piece of cake, but there are others out there, the silent ones, that let me know that they have it much worse than I do. I got to live my life, but sadly others never will.

Cancer is a bitch, but abuse is even worse, especially with children. Yet, with cancer, you have a fighting chance and have people around you that care and fight with you, not against.

I posted this on Disqus yesterday:

Sadly, Peter would have had a better chance if he was diagnosed with cancer. Instead, three ‘monsters’ decided his fate.

I’m sorry for Manchester, but there are silent voices that will never be heard nor given a chance. I just want to change one thing in the world before I go and this could be it. How you may ask? Not sure, I respond.

I’ve always wanted to be a writer, so how can I use my GOD given talent to help those of abuse, whether it be a child, the elderly or pets (animals). These three groups have no ‘voice’ in today’s ‘society.’ (I struggle to refrain from calling it worse.)

I think of the movie ‘Grand Torino’ (Clint Eastwood) and think if only.’ I would give up my life to just save one innocent soul.

Don’t praise me for this, cuz I’ve f-cked up plenty in my years and I just want to give back.

So, yes, we are squarely in the middle of ‘terrorist’ situations and it is all too sad, but what about those who suffer in silence?

Peter never got to RULE HIS OWN WORLD.

RIP PETER….

‘SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME…’

 

 

WHAT’S RIGHT IS WRONG

Breitbart-Liberty-healthshare-photo-640x480
Breitbart, Liberty Healthshare

Heartbreaking photo…unfortunately, his care will be compromised because of the in-fighting over congress’ inability to set things right after the Obamacare debacle.

When will it end and how many Americans, especially children, will suffer for it?!

The sad thing is, if he were of hispanic or mideast (omitting capitals) persuasion and an illegal, he wouldn’t have a problem.

Just putting it out there for you to think about.

Peace.

 

‘NOT NICE!’

20160412_082454

When you step into a doctor’s sterile, cold and colorless exam room, you just want to turn around, run straight home and climb back into bed. A nice dark bedroom. Away from the needles, invasive x-rays and procedures.

If I, as an adult, become extremely uneasy, freshjust imagine what goes through a kid’s head. Believe you me, when I say that I would take the place of a kid in a heartbeat. They are much too young for this.

My youngest nephew would blurt out ‘not nice’ if something wasn’t going his way. I can relate when it comes to doctors! There isn’t anything nice about being poked and prodded.

My main doctor is a gastroenterologist and liver specialist. During one of our many discussions, he mentioned that he did not get into pediatrics because it was too emotionally taxing. For this sole reason, he only sees adults.

He recommended me for a writing job for the pediatric clinic. I worked with the head pediatric doctor on a special project.

I was in clinic one afternoon and asked if I would like to see an actual ERCP procedure. I got permission from the hospital, procedure doctor and most importantly the parents of a three-year-old boy.

It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. That poor toddler. It broke my heart and I had to leave before it was over. I couldn’t stomach it. I could see how distressed the parents were. It’s like one of those ASPCA animal rescue commercials: Dogs shivering in the snow. Utter helplessness.

Afterward, the parents were looking quite tired and the toddler was a handful. He was really nasty to everyone, but who could blame him? I didn’t.

Changing Medicine. Changing Kid's Lives

LIONESS

Z88bDsV - Imgur.gif
IMGUR

Being a former cat owner, I can guarantee you this kitten jumped back up onto the bed to resume the battle! 

Cancer comes in all different flavors and affects all age groups and sexes. So, if there is one thing to take from all this is that you are not alone.

Although, when it affects children it is even more devastating, especially for the parents. My heart goes out to each and everyone it touches. 

I was recently in Phoenix and saw this poster. Kudos to the parents and child who agreed to this poster. I’m sure it wasn’t easy, but a lot of good can come of it.

20170407_174950
Phoenix Children’s Hospital Foundation

I’m not sure exactly where I’m going with this, but as with all blogs, directions can change and usually for the better. It’s a learning process and takes time. I would like this to be shared between parents and their children, so for now, I will leave it as is.

The battle for me has just begun.