MIA

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This is just one example of the views from my apartment in southern Utah. Red rocks, plateau’s and snowy mountain tops, all in one pic. Fluffy white clouds and blue lit skies. I miss it….

I have lived in Chicago, Paris and Colorado, but nothing was as breathtaking as Utah. Lots of undeveloped land, temporate weather and only two hours from Vegas. Almost perfect.

The “Mormon’s” were a pain in the ass, but could be overlooked due to the landscape and the endless opportunities for every and all outdoor recreational activities!

The doctor’s were not the greatest, but that could be overlooked also. I am back with my original doctors in the midwest, but one should never base where they live on friggin’ doctors! Life is way too short for that nonsense….

My parents would love for me to stay with my original docs, but screw that. I see them (docs) once again in the fall and then it’ll be time to hit the road once again. The grass can grow around my headstone when I’m dead, but I’ll be damned if I let the grass grow around my feet while I’m still alive and kickin’!

Believe when I say, ‘when you have your health, you have everything,’ and even though health and time are not on my side, I cannot stand still. I also believe that God puts people you need in your path. I would be dead if it weren’t for my Rudy. He saved me more than once in the past, and continues to, even though I’ve put him through hell?!

Here’s to living life by your own rules and not other’s…keep your head up and keep treading that water for as long as you have to. It’ll be worth it!

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BREATHE (2 a.m.)

I actually came to bed four hours ago. It is now 2 a.m. and I am wide awake if you can call it that. The alarm is set for 7 a.m. giving me plenty of time to get ready for my oncology appointment. It feels like this is all I have, for now, writing-wise.

I feel as if I can’t move like if I just turn over, I’ll break. RG is down in front of the television, which is just as well since I’ll probably just toss and turn all night. He asked me if I wanted to still go to my appointment or if I wanted to re-schedule. I actually considered it for a while then figured that I might as well get this over with.

There is such a thing as not wanting to know and I so get that, but I have other major health issues to deal with so maybe it’s best to just go in. Just bite that bullet, so to speak.

It plays like a tennis match in my head. Back and forth over an imaginary net in my mind: I don’t want to know; I need to know; I don’t, I do…Help me Lord.

The one thing that is already freaking me out is the fact that I almost passed out the last time I had to give a blood sample in this very clinic. It was moments before I was officially diagnosed with CLL (a rare form of leukemia).

This song, BREATHE (2 a.m.) has helped me make it through many sleepless nights. Here’s hoping Anna can soothe me to sleep, once again…

 

 

 

 

WHAT’S RIGHT IS WRONG

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Breitbart, Liberty Healthshare

Heartbreaking photo…unfortunately, his care will be compromised because of the in-fighting over congress’ inability to set things right after the Obamacare debacle.

When will it end and how many Americans, especially children, will suffer for it?!

The sad thing is, if he were of hispanic or mideast (omitting capitals) persuasion and an¬†illegal, he wouldn’t have a problem.

Just putting it out there for you to think about.

Peace.

 

NOT MY HEALTHCARE THEY DON’T

Spent all day at the hospital, am totally exhausted and what is in the news?! THIS: http://www.breitbart.com/news/judge-blocks-trump-order-on-sanctuary-city-funding/ !!!

Okay, I am officially pissed and if I had known this before the hospital, I would’ve said something to that Hispanic family on the elevator who spoke NO ENGLISH! I would have said something like, “Oh hey, you know that summer is on its way so make sure you have plenty of I.C.E.!!!” No holds barred!! I’m taking no prisoners any longer! Enough is enough! This was my comment on BREITBART:

“Okay liberal judge who doesn’t give a crap about us Americans (don’t care what your name is), my Medicare and Medicaid benefits will plummet (I have cancer & a feeding tube), while illegals will continue getting my ‘paid for by my own taxes, withheld from my hard earned paychecks’ care, for free?! Go f-ck yourself!!!”

Want access to our healthcare?! Become LEGAL and pay your Social Security and other taxes!! If I have to go through this ‘system,’ so do YOU!!!

Last year I met a lady from Columbia and her mother was coming to live here LEGALLY!! Guess what?! She had to wait for a year or so, after being here, to get the healthcare she needed!! She had a feeding tube also.

I have no problem with this. So why is it these illegals get something for nothing over us?!

PEACE…

SEVENTEEN HUNDRED MILES

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Tomorrow is my first doctor appointment and I traveled 1,700 miles for it?! Next week is my cancer appointment. Gotta do what you gotta do I guess.

I worked at the nursing home all weekend in order to keep my mind off of my destiny?! Scary, but has to be done, unfortunately. I have absolutely no clue about what will happen. My goal is to stay out of the hospital.

I can absolutely feel the terror parents go through when it comes to their kids and doctor appointments, especially when dealing with cancer.

Then there are those people that have no class, which I learned at work, this past weekend. I had just returned after a five-month absence. There was a new person there that didn’t know me from ‘Eve’ and a co-worker blurted out, “How’s your leukemia doing?!” Insensitive to say the least.

People and parents in my situation will find this unnerving. How about waiting until I bring it up, if at all. The only person that needs to know is the administrator. Beyond that, no one. Not even the nurses.

People need to respect a person’s boundaries. If we want you to know, we’ll tell you, otherwise…I worked to keep my mind off of my situation, not to have it brought to light and especially in front of strangers.

cancer

Random thoughts….