CANCER doesn’t just eat away at your insides, it also can destroy relationships.
The anger that builds can most definitely harm others. I got a triple dose of illness. Enough to last a lifetime and beyond.
First it was an autoimmune disease (’94), then stomach removal (’98) and last fall (’16) leukemia.
Sometimes I feel like I’m losing the battle and lash out at those closest to me. It’s not fair for me, but it isn’t for them either.
This is for Rudy:
For all cancer/autoimmune victims/survivors, from the very young to the very old and everyone in between!!
Just lost a writing job today, but with all the doc appointments and such, it happens….(I don’t blame him though.)
My job at the nursing home is fine in that it’s all physical as opposed to writing which is mental. I can do physical because I’m able to forget and I’m so exhausted that nothing matters. With mental, it’s a struggle because the mind wanders and creativity suffers. Ever hear the saying that mental fatigue is much worse than physical? It’s true, especially in my situation.
What people don’t understand is all the mental/emotional anguish that goes along with being ill. Every time the nurse sticks that needle into your vein and the blood fills the vial, your life is suspended with the knowledge that the numbers that come back can make or break you.
Fortunately, I came out on the better side this time. Unfortunately, though, it’s not if, but when the treatments will ultimately have to begin. Not many people understand this.
Anyway, that’s all I have to say, for now. Here’s a NY Times article from 2009 that is still relevant in today’s political upheaval. Although don’t misconstrue ‘upheaval’ because Obamacare did NOT work and believe me, I KNOW!!
Chronic Illness and Work